I Don't Want To Be
I don't want to be one of those mothers that it always screaming at their children. I hate that. I always feel terrible for the kids. I mean, they're only kids. Lately, however, I feel like I am ALWAYS yelling at Tyrus. I don't know what my reaction should be when, for example, I discover that he has urinated on my kitchen floor by stepping in it barefoot. Or, he is screaming so loud at the grocery store "I want a hot wheel!" that the people in the parking lot can hear him. Or, when he becomes a limp noodle and refuses to walk on his own two feet and I can't pick him up because I'm holding Mary.
What am I supposed to do in these situations? I hate "popping" him on the behind in public. I hate raising my voice to him in public. I usually point my finger at him, make my eyes really wide, and whisper that he is being bad and he better stop. Its pretty funny when he does this exact same thing back to me when I say something he doesn't like.
Last night, after the kitchen urination, I told him that he had to go to bed at 7:30. He has been staying up until 9:00 lately so this was a big difference. He went down without any fuss. I explained to him that peeing on the floor was what babies do and that since he was a big boy now he had to pee in the potty. His response: "Yes, maam. luh you" and he rolled over and went to sleep. This morning I was walking to get him and I could hear him opening his door. He ran around the corner and wrapped his arms around my legs. Its moments like this that I remember how small he is and how much I love him.
Tyrus, we had a rough day yesterday. I know you won't remember it, but I don't think I'll ever forget stepping in your pee barefoot. I yelled at you a lot and I made you go to bed way early. I'm sorry. I'm going to really work on speaking to you like the big boy that you now are (except when you pee on the kitchen floor) and not screaming at you all the time. I love you so much Tyrus - I do hope you remember that!
Love,
Mama
3 comments:
I've talked to about 5 other moms in the past week with a 3yr old that says this age is trying. Jeff and I want to be consistent and know what to do too, so we setup a mtg next week with a free counselor in our school system. I think, however, that what feels right to me is to talk to him like you'd want someone to talk to you... "Ty, peeing on the floor is not appropriate. If you can't pee in the potty then you'll need to wear diapers again. I'll go get your diapers out and put your underwear in the closet." All in a calm, matter-of-fact voice. When he follows you screaming to the closet, turn around and talk to him and explain again that he needs to pee on the potty or wear diapers - those are his choices. I know it's easier said then done, but when I can stay calm and do this we have a much better outcome. Don't feel guilty - nobody is perfect and everyone yells at their kids. It's good you feel bad for it and want to find a better way to discipline.
Thanks Shan. Let me know what the counselor says.
Jenn I am in the same boat but I keep yelling at Walker for doing something to Aden. He is either kicking, hitting, pushing, or scaring him ALL day long. I have tried everything: time-outs, spanking, sending him to his room, talking to him calmly,and even pushing him back(Beth's advice) My next step is E-bay. I wonder how much I could get for him - not b/c then he turns around and does something so sweet that your heart aches with love. Parenthood is definitely a love hate relationship. Good luck and let me know what works!! :)
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